Listening to you

Dear reader,

I will tell you right away that this will be one of the longer newsletters.

Today more on the subject of feelings :-).

For about a year now I have been preoccupied with how many professionals in our seminars encounter so many children and adults with needs that they cannot meet

Another year has passed, and what does our daily life look like, now after two years of living in a pandemic?

Following, I deliberately use the word “challenged” instead of “overwhelmed”, which would be just as appropriate. By doing so, I would like to appreciate the work that has been done already and is still being done everywhere. “ Would you have thought it possible a few years ago that you would be able to cope with so many unknown factors and changes?

And what is the current situation?

Here I am talking about the situation I’m familiar with in Germany, in your country it might be different:

Everywhere people are challenged by colleagues falling ill and them having to take over their duties. Or, when either they or their family and friends fall ill and suddenly everything has to be reorganized.

In families, community institutions and companies, everyone is challenged to deal with the topic of vaccination.

Everywhere couples are challenged to deal with the changes that working from home brings to their relationship. 

Everywhere parents have to comfort their children and teenagers who cannot meet their friends and spend their holidays as usual.

Everywhere parents are challenged by working from home and dealing with childcare at the same time.

Parents everywhere have to constantly change their plans, because of changes in their children’s school schedules.

This is especially true for single mothers and fathers.

School principals and headmasters everywhere are challenged by the constant changes between in person and online teaching and having to present these to the teachers.

Teachers are challenged by online and in person teaching at the same time and sometimes by the difficulties of reaching the parents.

Heads of daycare and afterschool programs have to explain to parents, teachers and children that the usual teachers are not there and that children are cared for in ways they are not familiar with.

Doctors have to rearrange their offices, because of hygiene measures, and their staff has to help patients understand that they have to wait outside instead of in the waiting room.

And much, much more! Nerves are stretched to the breaking point, conflicts intensify more quickly, prices change, deliveries don’t work out, people are laid off, so many difficult changes.

These are just some of the examples I have come across in my own environment. We can read about the situation in hospitals and nursing homes in the media…  And the issues mentioned above also affect everyone who works in the health care sector…

Like all of us, I have had difficult times in my life—and since my education and training makes me think a lot about what someone needs in order to be well, I do remember that during these times I sometimes thought how helpful it would be if once in a while someone would ask me how I was doing. Just like that, without anything in return, without proposing solutions and without taking much time…..

How would it be if we all had someone who just asked us how we were doing every now and then? Just that? Without having to pull ourselves together and without further explanations, just a conversation about how we feel?

Why should that help if it doesn’t really change anything in our situation, you ask?

You’ll just have to take my word for now. You will get convinced by experiencing it on your own. Sometimes it is good to feel that someone else has compassion for us, knows how we feel.

You will know for yourself if this just doesn’t work for you—and that is completely ok. There are good reasons why some people don’t like to talk about their feelings.

If you want to give it a try, this is where the Gefühlsmonsters come in, giving it some structure.

If you are familiar with the Gefühlsmonster scan already, good for you! If not, you can check it out here . Under the question mark above are the instructions. I would like to invite you to give this a try a few times, before you approach a neighbour or friend to do the listening routine with them.

Then one person listens and asks questions and the other chooses Gefühlsmonsters and answers.

To make it easier I have created an overview of the steps for this listening exercise.

We tried it with each other online in our Gefühlsmonster Academy staff and it worked really well! You should have seen how happy and content we all looked afterwards.

Well, of course we have lots of experience with the Gefühlsmonsters, but since you know them, too, I think that the outcome will create happy feelings for you as well.

Because that’s something the monsters can do: put a smile on our faces!

Why don’t you try out the Gefühlsmonster scan for yourself right now? And remember the final question: which monster can help you feel better today? Feelings are contagious, and visualisations of feelings do the same!

And if you would like more guidance: on Wednesday March 17th, 2022 at 6 pm CET I will give you instructions with the “I’m listening to you” course, free of charge, at the Gefühlsmonster Academy!

Best Wishes, Lilli Höch-Corona