Relationships

Your partner’s answers to your questions are monosyllabic?

Feelings are contagious. Looking at the cards serves as a bridge and smoothes the way into joining in the conversation.

Many couples use the Gefühlsmonsters for a brief feeling check in the morning or evening, for signals at the door or for clarifying feelings in conversations. Because when you know what your partner is occupied with, you can judge their reactions much better.

 
Example:
 
Feelings on the living room table

Anne and Eric are happily married, and they generally spend their life together in harmony. But recently, things went a little differently. This is what happened:

“After a very demanding day at work, Anne returned home and found Eric already busy preparing dinner. This would be a tasty meal and Eric was expectantly looking forward to Anne’s excitement. But unfortunately, the timing was a bit off.
The words “Oh how wonderful, you are cooking for us – that’s great!” didn’t come fast enough.
Or, “You don’t even care that I’m preparing this for you!” was said too soon.
No one knows anymore what was said and who said it. Within seconds, a heated exchange developed between the two, which we will not recount in detail here. Eric left the kitchen, but unexpectedly returned and had something unusual on his mind.

Eric: “I will show you something now – I will show you just how you feel!”
Anne: “What?”
Eric: “I was at Lilli Höch-Corona’s office earlier and brought back a set of the Gefühlsmonster cards.”

Anne was surprised, but eventually followed him to the living room table.

Looking through the set of cards, Eric put several cards on the table:
Eric: “You feel like this 6 and like this 13 and you probably also feel this way 22.”

There was silence.
Eric: “Okay, so now show me how I feel.”

There it was again, the same tone of voice – demanding and expectant. But the outcome was different this time.

Anne: “There’s something missing here.”
Anne thumbed through the stack of cards and adds16                                      .
Eric swallows hard.
Anne: “And you feel like this 16 and like this 13zS5ukvK9YDNN. And I’m guessing you probably also feel this wayMonsterdatei-A6-2017-abgerundet-MUSTER-grosse-Schrift-v2-43uToMssmGzwek.”
Eric: “Yes! And like this, too 22.”
Both sit quietly over the images of frustration and sadness spread out in front of them.
Eric: “Well, this is going to be a fine evening, isn’t it.”

Both look at each other, and suddenly burst out laughing. The rest of the evening took a pleasant turn, and we will leave the rest to your imagination.”

Author: Jens Winter
Posted on Thursday, 2015-10-01    

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